THE CAVE

Real contributions

2006-11-22T10:27:00.000-08:00

This irony is just too good to let go. In the Nov. 13th, 2006 issue of Time Magazine, a staff writer interviewed Francis Collins and Richard Dawkins, who have both recently published books on different sides of the "God vs. science" debate (I put it in quotes because this construction of the debate is in fact a false dichotomy, depending on tendentious definitions of the key terms). I don't care much about the debate, but the opening of the article said the following:

"We revere faith and scientific progress, hunger for miracles and for MRIs. But are the worldviews compatible?"

Why is this ironic? Because the pioneering inventor of MRI technology, Dr. Raymond Damadian, is a firm believer in creation. Damadian has won a number of prestigious awards (see www.fonar.com), including one through MIT which "recognizes the nation's most talented inventors and innovators and promotes living role models in the fields of science, engineering, medicine and entrepreneurship in the hope of encouraging future generations to follow their example." (http://web.mit.edu/invent/n-pressreleases/n-press-01LAA.html)
How striking that this living role model in the field of science was able to make his remarkable discovery without the benefit of Darwinism! Hmm...have Darwin's modern bulldogs (e.g., Dawkins, Sam Harris) made any similar contribution to the well-being of humanity? And yet they consider religious belief "delusional" (cf. the title of Dawkins' latest book) and even dangerous (cf. Sam Harris' comments throughout his two books). So a delusional and dangerous belief is perfectly compatible with the greatest example of medical technology the Time writer could come with...

And this isn't an isolated case. The inventor of the standard computer modeling program for plate tectonics, used throughout the field of geology, is also a creationist. Yet, these sorts of contributors are labeled as dangerous, delusional, and abusers of true science by folks who haven't made nearly the same sorts of contributions to actual, applied science. So, the real contributions to science and knowledge are not important tools of diagnosis and analysis, but books about how dumb creationists are. Okay.

Anthologies are not, in fact, modernist

2006-10-26T08:26:00.000-07:00

I find myself needing to correct my esteemed host here in the cave for something that he said elswhere.

One of the only ways that learning was preserved through the barbarian invasions of the former Roman world was through the encyclopedists, who cobbled together as best they could quotes of varying length from the classical sources available to them. This tradition continued into the medieval period with the florilegia, which were books containing extracts from classical and patristic authors designed for education and as sources for the authoritative statements that scholastic disputations explained and resolved. In fact, modern anthologies often contain far more extensive selections and context from authors than the medieval florilegia, thus actually constituting an improvment over the medieval approach (as hard as that is for me to say!).

If you truly cannot have any appreciation for anthologies, then, you're just not as medieval as you'd like to be!

Theistic Evolution?

2006-10-14T21:45:00.000-07:00

Point number one: If mutation is bad (and it is usually assumed to have negative connotations, I think), then evolution as it is typically understood could not have taken place before the Fall, so Adam and Eve could not have evolved from apes, or whatever. This, of course, depends on mutation being a bad thing.

Point number two: Evolution is boring.

PCUSA stance on male involvement in the church establishment...

2006-10-02T19:25:00.000-07:00

Ten Reasons Men Should Not be Ordained:

1. Men are too emotional to be ministers. Their conduct at football games shows this.
2. A man’s place is in the army.
3. Some men are so handsome, they will distract women worshippers.
4. Their physical build indicates that men are more suited to tasks such as chopping down trees and wresting mountain lions. It would be “unnatural” for them to do other forms of work.
5. In the New Testament account, the person who betrayed Jesus was a man. Thus, his lack of faith and ensuing punishment stands as a symbol of the subordinate position that all men should take.
6. Men are overly prone to violence. No really manly man wants to settle disputes otherwise than by fighting about it. Thus, they would be poor role models, as well as being dangerously unstable in positions of leadership.
7. To be ordained pastor is to nurture the congregation. But this is not a traditional male role. Rather, throughout history, women have been considered to be not only more skilled than men at nurturing, but also more fervently attracted to it. This makes them the obvious choice for ordination.
8. Man was created before woman, obviously as a prototype. Thus, they represent an experiment, rather than the crowning achievement of creation.
9. For men who have children, their duties might distract them from the responsibility of being a parent.
10. Men can still be involved in church activities, even without being ordained. They can still sweep paths, repair the church roof, and maybe even lead the singing on Father’s Day. By conforming themselves to such traditional male roles, they can still be vitally important in the life of the Church.

Objective identity

2006-09-27T15:50:00.000-07:00

So, a thought occurred to me, and I'd like to pose a question to our host, Legion. I noted the most recent post on his other site, and, to refrain from adding up little-used internet member accounts, I'm commenting here rather than there. Ahem.

If you don't consider yourself a "Wheatie," does that mean you are not one? I'm assuming you mean a student at Wheaton and not a crunchy flake of the famous cereal in the orange box. Anyhow, isn't there an objective identity you have as a Wheatie that mere dissent from much of the connotation of that term does not negate? That is to say, could not someone else legitimately consider you a Wheatie, regardless of your own opinion of yourself? Isn't it very modern to say: "Sure, I'm enrolled in this institution, and I wear its symbols, and I receive its benefits, but I'm not really part of it!" (Not, mind you, that I am attributing such an attitude to you.) Something of a federal principle applies: participation, while it may not imply or require complete agreement, seems to at least imply participation and thus some degree of identity. This is more challenging for me, though, than for you, since my own college identity is far worse than Wheaton's. Even though I didn't attend the commencement ceremony, in order to privately express my dissent from the institution, I will in some sense always be an "Obie." But at least it can't be confused with a cereal...

There you go. Just an interesting (to me) thought that I'm posting for your consideration, if it's worth the time.

Every Man Is A Theologian And An Historian.

2006-09-12T18:34:00.000-07:00

I have overhead two people talking about the study of ancient languages and the usefulness of such study. Their conclusion was that ancient languages are only useful in a "spiritual"/"ministry" setting. Moreover, they seemed to believe that ancient languages are NOT useful to pastors, and that textual critism is B.S. So, knowing your greek, hebrew and latin is apparently only important if you are planning on becoming an ascetic monk, or a linguist.

It is also a problem that they even think to differentiate between the worlds of secular and spiritual employment, one being somehow more idealistic, and the other acceptable only in terms of its practicality for supporting one's self financially.

On a vastly different note, I am going to put in a few brief words on behalf of the CSA. Certainly, Thomas Jackson, and Robert E. Lee were fine men, unmatched for devotion to God and duty. That alone does not validate their cause, however. The Confederate States chose to secede from the Union because the Union was no longer ackowledging or respecting the economic/financial needs of the Confederacy. Ruled by a government that was dominated by the industrialized North, the agrarian South was faced with two choices: either to remain in the Union and be marginalized and starved from a lack of representation in government; or to leave the no longer mutually beneficial Union, and look after their own needs AS BEST THEY COULD.

SOME would say that the Southern economic system was on its sad little way out anyway, and thus it was perfectly justifiable for the North to release a punitive war upon the rural Southlands. This brand of Pragmatist, Imperialist philosophy is responsible for most of the major wars of the past two centuries. Pragmatism has not improved with age, and still remains an insufficient motivation for unleashing fire and the sword upon one's brothers. It may be expedient, but that does not make it morally right. The notion that expediency is reason enough to kill and steal is clearly unbiblical, immoral and dangerous.

The CSA had EVERY legal and moral right as FREE STATES to secede, just as the Northern Abolitionist states had NO legal or moral right to treat the South as an area of land to be invaded and conquered. The legality and the morality of the matter is unequivocable. No amount of wrangling and judicial-constitution- reinterpreting can disprove this hard and incontrovertible fact.

-Professor Dragonroy

Slap a label on that baby and git 'er on the market

2006-09-10T22:25:00.000-07:00

There is a student group that meets on campus that focuses on conserving resources, avoiding consumerism, and being "intentional" about self-less relationships: not approaching relationships with the mindset of "what will I get out of this?"

I think they have the right idea, but are applying in a stupid fashion, or at least in a potentially harmful fashion. The first thing tip-off was the word "intentional". This word is over-used in the modern, mainstream evangelical context. It is essentially a validation code-word. It is one of the magic adjectives that instantly gains people's respect, submission and cooperation. All life should be "intentional". Our "support group" is the whole of Christendom. The whole darn thing, in all its ordinary and typical glory.

To take a basic and fundamental Christian doctrine such as selflessness and make a special support group for the application of the concept does more harm than good; it singles out and separates one of many theoretically INSEPERABLE principles. Result: elitism, trendiness, and loss of perspective.

Giving their special group a special name does not help much either. Which they have. I'm not sure what it is, but chances are I would keep it to myself if I did know. I do not mean to berate the students involved. From what I can tell, they are very well-intentioned folks who are sincere about trying to do the will of the Lord. However, they revert to the typical "form a support group, give it a creative name and call it intentional" form generally sanctioned by the modern church.

Thought For The Day (getting back into the swing of things)

2006-09-07T19:38:00.000-07:00

"Woe to you when they speak well of you and when you are a bestselling author of dispensational literature..." -Jesus

Christianity should not be bestselling and popular. Christianity is not "cool", in the way that the majority thinks of "cool". Christianity is Officially Cool, Cool in a Divine sort of infinite way.

2006-04-11T20:43:00.000-07:00

a concerned reader said...
What philsophy and guiding "christian" aesthetic do you have a problem with?
Wed Apr 05, 04:37:11 PM

Dear erstwhile concerned reader,

I posted this fella way back in November. It basically sums up the issue at hand. Pester if you have questions.

"We could use a good dose of medievalism. Learn to appreciate lasting beauty and the creation of things that endure. All aspects of our modern society are set to swivel in all directions after the latest fad and whim. This is particularly a problem in our modern evangelical christian subculture: there is no substantial aesthetic sense guiding the direction that the modern church is taking. Instead of looking at the Bible and basing our christian culture off of that, we turn first to society, get an idea of what we want to do, THEN we read the Bible and find some random verses to make it all christian and stuff. We far too concerned about relevance. We need to learn how to live biblically before we can learn how to die biblically. In our pietism we are caught up in sacrificing before we have become obedient to the covenants. We go on missions trips before we are baptized. We start fasting before we learn to eat. Obedience is better than sacrifice, and right now we're falling behind on the obedience part. We've succeeded at being as peaceful as doves, but we are no where near as wise as serpents. What have we done to nurture a Christian culture that is going to last beyond the next whim of the populus? Our modern Christian culture is all cardboard and coloring books and precious moments. Veggie Tales, I mean, Organic Narratives sums it up well when they say: "Sunday morning values, Saturday morning fun". When the unification of lifestyle and belief becomes a slogan and a source of advertising, you know that there is a problem. The moneychangers asked to be let into our church foyers and we welcomed them with open arms. The damage is beginning to show. The thieves have set up camp in our churches. Amidst the hubbub we have lost our sense of beautiful, enduring Christian culture."

ShadowBlade is Mostly Fed Up

2006-04-08T14:52:00.001-07:00

I'm sick and tired of diversity, so called. Perhaps they're well-intentioned, but this whole Diversity business has really gone too far. If we really cared about just being diverse, we would leave well enough alone, and let people be diverse without harassing them about it. People are going to be diverse regardless of what we try to do about it, and being self-consciously "diverse" only hinders and cramps diversity in its natural form. The problem is that we are dealing with diversity in an extrememly indivisualistic sense, rather than in a racial or nation-based sense. Diversity, in the sense that we have given it, is not personal, and therefore has nothing to do with skin color, or at least skin color should be the last thing we look for. Every single person is absolutely different, is absolutely their own culture and tradition.

We limit "diversity" by basing it off of skin color (white, asian, hispanic, black, etc: no mention of french, irish, native american, german, etc etc). Any attempts we make at "diversity" will fall short because its not something you can design and create. Once we try to do that, we have actually begun to annihilate any kind of diversity whatsoever. In our obsession with culture (which often manifests itself in funky cultural relativity and equality, which also irritates me) we have effectively destroyed culture. We can't support and nurture culture and cultural differences by erasing cultural boundaries. It is the cultural boundaries and the distinctions that make us diverse, not the color of our skin. Ought we to understand other cultures? Of course. But we ought not to make them our own.

Anyway, we really do take diversity to the extent of being pluralistic synchretism, which is based on compromise and uncertainty. This has always been a weapon of the enemy against the Kingdom. Certainly the Kingdom is diverse, and that is a good thing. But it is diverse because of the love a people have for their own culture because it is their own. When people are willing to kill and die for their nation, then there will be diversity in the land.

The Hellenistic movement in the ancient world began with the great conquests of Alexander, when the world was unified under one physical reign. Because of increased trade unity, ideas and practices were shared and adapted across cultures. The jewish culture, in particular, was threatened by this because of the compromising influences it had on their isolationist society. It was very hard to remain a people set apart for the Lord when their nation had been conquered and the cultural norm had become an amalgamation of various cultures. Our modern "diversity" syndrome is very similar to Hellenism, in that it wants to create a melting pot of cultures and ideas, and this, we say is diversity. And, once again, the integrity of the people of God is threatened by a unifying, compromising trend in culture.

-Shadowblade

Really Fun Christian Satire

2006-04-03T21:04:00.000-07:00

Very fun and very funny. Pretty neat manifestation of a Christian sense of humor. Samples: National Testimony Bee, Youth Pastor Hazing, Loser's Ministry of Listening.

2006-03-31T19:06:00.001-08:00

It seems to me that you all need to- how shall I put this?- lighten up. I am sure that the producers at Veggie tale hq had no intention of creating the movie seriously. They intended for this to be a silly version of the book, and they were not intending to insult the book, and it is for entertainment purposes and while being entertaining it gets a good moral value across. I think you will agree with me in that six year-olds cannot comprehend the book, or watch the live-action movie, so they can watch the veggie tale version and see a loose rendition of the book. I know that it doesn't come close to the original, and, again, I doubt Big Idea was trying to do that. So I think that you are blowing this whole thing out of proportion, and are missing the basic idea behind this version.Again, lighten up, and see it for the comic relief it is!P.S. On the other hand, the terrible, horrible cartoon version of LOTR was created in all seriousness, and I cringe every time I see it at Blockbuster. Singing Orcs! (shudder) --Posted by A concerned reader to the blog site formerly known as the cave at 3/31/2006 03:18:41 PM

As films, the NonBibleStory Veggie Tales movies are cute, harmless, funny and stupid. I take issue only with the philosophy and guiding "christian" aesthetic responsible for the Organic Narratives canon.

Scam...

2006-03-18T10:59:00.000-08:00

Dear Mr Tony Mensah Sir,

I am very sorry for I have not responded back soon after your last email. I have been very busy as I have been attending the funerals of several people. I have just now been able to read the email you last sents me. Thank you for your patients.

You may rely on me for your utmost confidentiality. There is nothing I shall say to anybody about this situation. I understand that what is at stake here: justice and truth (and also a good deal of financial well being).

I am not understanding these attorneys and legalitys and other bankings. Perhaps you ought to take handling of that part of the deal? They seem very corrupt and selfish and unfeeling to me.

I want to know if it is legal for me to be next of kin, since it isn't our money? Will I be arrested or shot up or tortured if I try to do this? I do not want to get terrorized like poor Mr Anderson who got exploded. There are bombings here too sometimes.

Send me the documents. Let us get started!

Mr George Firthingham-Walters IV

The Soulforce Chronicles: The Last Battle

2006-03-08T22:00:00.000-08:00

I wrote a post recently on the topic of homosexuality as a movement. I also posted an identical post on the Soulforce.org forums, where I have been debating for the past two months. Shortly thereafter, I receieved this reply:

"This email is to inform you that your membership at the Soulforce Community Forums has been revoked. We certainly make room for members to disagree with Soulforce and post constructive criticism, but we don't allow open hostility towards us on our own website. I'm sure you can find plenty of places on the web to condemn us as we work towards equality for gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender people.

In any event, may you experience God's love and peace as you go. I hope you are able to find a place where your energy can be used to further God's work
in the world. -Jamie McDaniel, Soulforce Webmaster"

I have done it! I have actually managed to get myself oppressed, ignored and marginalized by these false practicers of civil disobedience and the other strategies of MLK. The implications are far-reaching and significant of course: their own methods being turned against them, they react in the very way they condemn. So much for non-violent resistance! I rest my case.

VERITAS VOS LIBERABIT

Scam...

2006-03-08T19:26:00.000-08:00

I received this reply:

My Dear George Firthingham,
Thanks for your swift response to my proposal and the sympathetic approach dispalyed it shows your someone to ride with in this transaction. I will like to tell you since we have not meet in person that whatever we are going to do in this transaction has to be with utmost sincereity, truth and transparency. I will like to tell you the only Godly truth about this transaction, it will involve time, efforts,resources above all it requires utmost confidentaility due to its nature and my position in the bank.

We shall consult and pay a high court attorney that will obtain legal documents that will further back you as the next of kin and business partner to the deceased, every informations as regards to the deceased bank account will be released to you secretely to update you on every details about the deceased. In my subsequent mail i will send to you a text of application on how you will contact the bank as the next of kin and business partner to MR SMITH ANDERSON who was a victim of lebanese president car bomings february last year.

However before we proceed on i will like you to furnish me with your full contact informations these includes, your contact address, phone numbers, fax etc....There should be also a form familiarity that will foster good relationship, hence i suggest we exchange pictures and know ourselves much better. On hearing from you i will send to you the text of application on how you will contact the bank immediately for onward transaction. I expect your swift response to this as soon as possible.
Thanks and God blessings...
Regards
Tony Mensah.
NB: Here is my phone number: 00 228 924 74 89. feel free to call me for more clarification on this issue.

More on Soulforce

2006-03-08T18:09:00.000-08:00

-Soulforce forces the world at large to either accept or persecute them. A lack of acceptance on my part is typically portrayed as hate, fear, blindness or insecurity. It is none of those.

Their tactics and rhetoric are very effective because the moral/philosophical issue is neatly sidestepped. They instead focus solely on the socio-political aspect of the situation, appealing to the secular saints MLK, Jr. and Gandhi and professing to be champions of modern human rights issues. Those two men are practically demigods in the eyes of the general public. By associating itself with two largely undisputed heroes, Soulforce associates itself with the virtue of the same, which is generally accepted to be beyond reproach. MLK and Gandhi both doubtless made mistakes, but in light of their great deeds, their sins are forgotten. In this way, Soulforce is made invulnerable to attack of any kind, because NO ONE in our modern culture questions the sanctity of MLK and Gandhi. It is a sort of confused transitive logic, a sort of intellectual blitzkrieg in which we think that we are still contesting the moral truth and validity of homosexuality, but our opponents have in fact outmaneuvered us and are already within the city walls. Soulforce intentionally opts to assault us where we have established the least defense, rather than meet their opponents head on. Why the deception? Why the political and public relations maneuvering? The simple reason is that Soulforce knows it cannot win the moral/philosophical fight. They instead leave that battle unfought, telling us that we have already surrendered. Never accept that answer. We must contest that claim to the death, for that is where the combat will ultimately be decided.

Do not resent my use of martial tones and imagery. They are as Biblical as my assault on homosexuality as a morally and philosophically feasible worldview.

-ShadowBlade

Scam: my reply

2006-03-08T09:04:00.000-08:00

Dear Mr. Sir Mensah,
This is a terrible occurence. I did not believe you firstly, but then I viewed the online photos and read the words and now my mind is established and made up. I will do anything I can to help you. I understand how a terrible occurence this is, because half of my sister's family was killed in a bomings in Lebanon. This is a terrible occurence sir. I do not understand how the world came to be terrible as this. I do not care about the money. I only want to see the justice for this terrible occurence to this poor noble man. His family must feel terrible. Please let me know in how I can able to helps in any way. Please let me helps. I know that you are a good man and very noble. I hope you may find a way to keep the millions of dollars from the government but I only need 10 percent of it, not 30. Please keep the rest for yourselfs.
In your service with many good lucks,
George Firthingham-Walters IV

Scam Correspondence

2006-03-08T09:03:00.000-08:00

I am pretty sure that this is a scam, so I decided to reply and see where this goes. I will be posting the correspondence on the blog here for your perusal and entertainment.

FROM THE MANAGER,BILL AND EXCHANGE DEPARTMENT,COMMERCE BANK MAIN OFFICE16 RUE DE COMMERCE,B.P,359.LOME TOGO. I am Mr.Tony Mensah, the manager of bills and exchanges at the foreign remittance Department of COMMERCE BANK LOME TOGO. I am writing following the information about you through International web directory and wish I know you are capable and reliable person to champion this business opportunity. In my department, we discovered an abandoned sum of USD 10.5 m ,(Ten million,five hundred thousand United State dollars). in an alloted vault in this bank, that belongs to one of our foreign late customer who traveled to his wife's country,Unfortunately was assassinated on 14 February 2005, along with 20 Others, near the St. George Hotel in Beirut. Below is the Web site http://www.cedarland.org/haririass.html Since we got informations about his death, we have been expecting his next of kin to come over and claims his money because we cannot release it unless somebody apply for it as next of kin or relation to the died customer as indicated in our banking guidelines and laws but unfortunately we learnt that all his surpposed next-of-kin or relation was among the twenty others It is therefore upon this discovery that I and other officials in our institution now decided to make this business proposal to you and release the money to you as the next-of-kin or relation to the died customer since no body is coming for it and we don't want this money to go into the Bank treasury unclaimed. The request for a foreigner as next-of-kin in this business is occassioned by the act that the customer was a foreigner and a Togoleise can not stand as next-of-kin to a foreigner.We agree that 30 % of this money will be for you as foreign partner, in respect to the provision of a foreign account, 10% will be set aside for expenses incured during this business and 60 % would be for me and my colleagues. Thereafter I and my colleagues will visit your country for disbursement according to the percentages indicated. Therefore to enable the immediate transfer of this fund to you has been arranged, you must apply first to the bank as relation or next-of-kin of the died customer. Upon receipt of your reply, I will send to you by fax or e-mail, the text of application you will transcribe as your order and send to the bank. I will not fail to bring to your notice that this transaction is hitch free and that you should not entertain any atom of fear as all required arrangements have been made for the transfer. Best regards and remain bless.Yours faithfully,Mr.Tony Mensah

Tradition or Bust

2006-02-06T14:06:00.001-08:00

A Defense of Tradition (as if it needed it)

Taking sides against tradition is like taking sides against left. Neither right nor left is inherently superior and both exist in harmony and necessity. It is nonsensical to deny either of them, for the things which we designate “left” and “right” exist whether we acknowledge them or not, and it is futile to pretend otherwise. Therefore, I see know reason to try to draw battle lines, for the simple reason that there is no battle. The wisdom of past ages (which I designate “tradition”) and the hopeful, almost giddy enthusiasm of the present day (which I designate “contemporary knowledge”) have no natural conflict with each other. We need not choose sides, as both contain truth, and therefore both can be embraced with readiness and caution.

I consider it a generally bad idea to support one to the exclusion of the other. However, our culture has sided against tradition, and since much that is old and strong and deep is in danger of being lost forever, we must defend that which is true and good against the destructive forces of chaos.

Today we still feel the effects of modernism, which proclaims the death of all that is older than ourselves, and exalts the new science of the young. The spawn of modernism is ugliness, for modernists see no value in beauty, which serves no apparent purpose that they can observe or measure. Many college dorms are examples of modernism: grid-like, purely functional, built cheap, effective and practical. I admit that architecture has improved in recent years, but during the height of the modern era, all buildings were constructed as quickly as possible, as practical as possible and as cheap as possible. This is not God’s way. Time, care and enduring beauty is as important a part to any creation as truth and goodness. When tradition is abandoned, as it has been, beauty suffers. No thought has been taken for creation of enduring, consistent beauty. Beauty takes time, care and effort, and our culture lacks the patience required for the creation of such.

True beauty is the result of wisdom, and wisdom is gained through time. The Bible clearly teaches that age and grey hair should be worn as a crown, that there is wisdom in age. It is the same with tradition. Tradition not only produces beauty, but wisdom as well. Though our culture would have us believe that to be young is to be fresh and new and good, the language of the Bible indicates otherwise. Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child, and with good reason are the elderly placed in higher authority and respect than the very young and inexperienced. This is just and reasonable. Is not God Himself the Ancient of Days and the All-Wise? Wisdom accompanies age. This is a cosmic, universal pattern. This pattern is inscribed into the very fiber of the earth, into the substance of the universe.

On another note, anti-traditionalism is essentially a self-defeating philosophy. It is logically inconsistent, for anti-traditionalism is as old an idea as you will find. When Adam and Eve fell they were consciously transgressing the Eternal Wisdom, the Divine Tradition that had decreed that they not eat from the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. There is an obvious history of anti-traditionalism in human nature. Consequently, if one would attack tradition, they must also attack their own tradition, which is a tradition of anti-traditionalism. Anti-traditionalism is the very thing it hates. And at what point does a thing become a tradition? How long does it take before the things you believe become your tradition? An anti-traditionalist who really believes that all consistency is bad must live a life of frustrated, futile, meaningless, inconsistent spontaneity. This, of course, becomes the pattern/tradition of their life, which brings us back to the beginning. Anti-traditionalism is self-defeating.

It is a lie that true happiness and excitement is found in randomness and spontaneity. This is the teaching of the world. All noble values are found in their perfected form in God, and He is more consistent and studied and unchanging than any. Tradition and consistency need not be equated with boredom, though they often are. The youngest child, whose energy is arguably boundless, will tire of an entertaining game long after an older person will. We are always moving on to something new. GK Chesterton has it right when he writes that every morning God says to the sun: “Do it again”, and He takes no less joy in the cycle of nature than if it had just begun.

Modern churches often hold tradition in contempt as well, in an attempt to achieve relevancy to the world, which should never be our primary aim. At this point I delve into the realm of opinion, rather than fact. In this area there are many grey shades and many perspectives, some right, some wrong, and some in between. I fear to sell my opinion as gospel truth, lest I be wrong. But I hold to my belief in this matter regardless, and if what I have said before is true (which it is) then my position is not one to be taken lightly. My position: tradition enriches the church and provides context and a foundation from which to worship Him. That context is one of beauty, and true beauty, as we have seen, is an outgrowth of wisdom and tradition. The foundation is a foundation of wisdom, in which we stand upon the wise teaching of those that have come before us. This is truth. It is the form that this truth takes that becomes a matter of opinion. On this we may differ without dispute, but let us never again say that tradition is unbecoming of a Christian, or that the wisdom of our God and fathers is an abomination, rather than our honor and our joy. Tradition is a blessing, for without it, we are meaningless. Without the past we have no identity. We become nameless, thoughtless, empty shades of men, lost and frustrated in our futility.

courtesy of the Professor
(some ideas drawn from GK Chesterton's ORTHODOXY)

not even funny

2006-01-30T22:07:00.000-08:00

Update on thingy's post:

after purpose-driven rick and his wife became christian celebrities and super-evangelists, they started chilling with bruce wilkinson, of Mantra of Jabez association. That's just a little bit creepy in my opinion. Sure, they may be quite genuine, and they both seem to really want to please God, but I for one get nervous when things go over too well. Like the Purpose-Driven Life, the sales of which were a bit too purpose driven for my liking. Christianity isn't supposed to be popular. I get the feeling that we have somehow compromised our position when in the blink of an eye, 26 million copies of a christian book are sold. How can that be right? Where is the opposition? Is popularity even desirable? Just because our book shoots to fame and prosperity with ease does not mean that there is no opposition. Satan will not always put forth his full strength in plain display before us. he may seek to drawus out, wait for us to let down our guard. I do not say that fame and significance are wicked, but the Christian should at least be wary of embracing the things of the world with too much eagerness.

-professor dragonroy

Purpose Driven purpose driven

2006-01-30T21:48:00.000-08:00

Rick Warren of purpose driven fame is at it again. This time he has masterminded a Purpose Driven Nation. The program is designed to fight pocerty in Africa. I find this very materialistic and self-preaching, rather than Christ-centered. The phrase "purpose driven" is practically synonymous with "rick warren". He is trying to market a poverty relief effort in the same way he sold millions of purpose driven books, socks, key-chains, night lights and who knows what else: by attaching his standard to the mast and having his image fastened on the figure-head in the hope that all of Christendom will flock to his banner.

The question is, is his Purpose Driven life purpose driven?

Next year: Purpose Driven World Conquest

-Old Thingy

2006-01-27T17:42:00.000-08:00

Soulforce is a nominally sort of "Christian" organization that fights for basic "human rights" on behalf of gays, lesbians, homosexuals, and others. Their website actually institutes some excellent rhetoric: next to the logo on the web page, they have pictures of both Martin Luther King, Jr and Ghandi, two universally accepted secular saints who are worshipped for their support of human rights and peace. It's diabolical. Anyone casting anything less than a discerning eye over the page would instinctively think: "Ghandi + MLK = good. Soulforce = Ghandi + MLK. Therefore, Soulforce = good." It's really very sneaky.
I have been arguing with various bit parts on their website's forum. So far it has been an enlightening experience. When these people tell you that they are Christian and believe the Bible and everything, DON'T listen to them. They do NOT have a Christian view of the Bible, Truth, God's sovereignty, the Law or humanity. It's a lie to ensnare nice Christians who are overly eager for peace and reconciliation, though utterly devoid in shrewdness. I get a bit irritated and one of my posts got a particular thread closed because it violated the Soulforce community forum guidelines. Drat. I still think it was pretty funny. Some "guy" named NonLemming had been going on about what a shame it was that we have such small, dogmatic minds these days, and how "he" couldn't wait until we evolved some more. I employed sarcasm in my response, which did not go over well. The offensive part went something like this:

"To NonLemming:
After reading your posts, I have begun praying for more evolution too. In fact, why don't you find go yourself a NonCliff and do evolution a favor? There's so many small brains these days, that the process of natural selection is having a hard time keeping up."

Funny, though a bit mean.

I also had folks telling me that they honored how the Spirit spoke to me, implying that the Spirit had spoken somewhat differently to them, which I, apparently, should honor as well. Then someone tried to pull one of those "eastern hindu sacred texts which are beautiful and enlightening and other nice things so why can't we use those too...".

I finally got sick of arguing and now I have just taken to posting passages of Scripture, which I figure is more effective than I could ever be at lambasting silly people.

-shadowblade, out

Donations Accepted

2006-01-21T21:19:00.000-08:00

http://freejoey.blogspot.com/

This, my friends, is a truly noble cause.
-Dahlia

Catching Up

2006-01-11T17:48:00.000-08:00

Well, well, well. It has been a while.

I feel like throwing rocks at progressivist liberal anti-traditionalist modernists. Whatever that may be. People who deliberately demean tradition and the ideas of the past are in for a bundle of trouble. Mostly because there is nothing new about the idea that old is bad. One of my favorite aspects of argumentation etc is finding the inherent contradiction in the opponents argument, then bludgeoning them over the head with it. It's really quite fascinating. Of course, I don't REALLY do this, if only because the opportunity never arises, but mainly because I'm just too darned nice.

After establishing that anti-traditionalism is not a "new" idea, the impending implosion is obvious.

Short post today. More to come.

-the Professor

The BEST Ad I Have Seen In a Very Long Time - shadowblade

2005-11-29T09:01:00.000-08:00

http://www.bigad.com.au/

You will notice of course that the music they are playing is from Carmina Burana. Though how they come up with that is beyond me.

Joke courtesy of the Man in the Pants

2005-11-27T06:49:00.000-08:00

What did the Calvinist say after he fell down the stairs?

Boy, I'm sure glad I got THAT over with!

Is this TOO militant?

2005-11-26T15:01:00.000-08:00

We could use a good dose of medievalism. Learn to appreciate lasting beauty and the creation of things that endure. All aspects of our modern society are set to swivel in all directions after the latest fad and whim. This is particularly a problem in our modern evangelical christian subculture: there is no substantial aesthetic sense guiding the direction that the modern church is taking. Instead of looking at the Bible and basing our christian culture off of that, we turn first to society, get an idea of what we want to do, THEN we read the Bible and find some random verses to make it all christian and stuff. We far too concerned about relevance. We need to learn how to live biblically before we can learn how to die biblically. In our pietism we are caught up in sacrificing before we have become obedient to the covenants. We go on missions trips before we are baptized. We start fasting before we learn to eat. Obedience is better than sacrifice, and right now we're falling behind on the obedience part. We've succeeded at being as peaceful as doves, but we are no where near as wise as serpents. What have we done to nurture a Christian culture that is going to last beyond the next whim of the populus? Our modern Christian culture is all cardboard and coloring books and precious moments. Veggie Tales, I mean, Organic Narratives sums is up well when they say: "Sunday morning values, Saturday morning fun". When the unification of lifestyle and belief becomes a slogan and a source of advertising, you know that there is a problem. The moneychangers asked to be let into our church foyers and we welcomed them with open arms. The damage is beginning to show. The thieves have set up camp in our churches. Amidst the hubbub we have lost our sense of beautiful, enduring Christian culture. Here's one fellow whose instinctive response to the situation involves a bullwhip and a cricket bat. How unchristlike!!

Lessons from comedy

2005-11-21T14:09:00.000-08:00

So I just finished my first attempt at directing a play (a comedy), and I was reflecting on it to see whether it actually served any purpose other than pure entertainment. Surprisingly (due to my own obtuseness) and unsurprisingly (since God, in fact, has woven meaning into every detail of His creation), I found that there are, in fact, important Christian virtues involved in comedy.

First, there is humility. When something that you have put in just because you think is funny gets no laughs whatsoever, while something else does, you realize that you are not the center and epitome of all human thought (which, had you been paying attention, you would have known already). If asked directly, few would ever say, "Yes, I am in fact the center and epitome of all human thought," but it's odd how we so seldom operate with such humility. We (the cast and I) shaped this play in a way that we found funny, and many of those things got nary a chuckle in eight performances--something that I don't think ever occurred to me as a possibility, at least by the surprised reaction I had at these unforeseen silences. I'm just glad there was enough overlap between our sense of humor and the audience's to make the thing a success.

Next, there is a degree of toughness. I don't know if this is universal (although I have a hunch it's pretty common), but I tend to get, well, prickly when my good ideas are not accepted and marveled at by others. But, since the case described under the first heading will happen, one must learn not to be easily offended if the response is not up to your standards for the audience. If you break down and cry or feel rejected by the world every time this happens (and no, I didn't react that way, nor did any of my cast, but I've seen it happen), you're going to need the meds delivered by forklift before you're 30. Of course, you will really only react that way if you've failed to learn the first lesson.

This brings us to the third and final point. Comedy is really about considering others before yourself, and that is very difficult. It's hard sometimes to figure out what will delight, please, and tickle others--it takes imagination, care, insight, and diligence, and even then it may not work.

Which brings us to fourth point, and it's really the last, and it's the one everything always points to, namely, grace. Why was there enough overlap to genuinely please the audience? How are we able to figure out something as mysterious as what is going to make another laugh (since only the spirit of man knows what is in him)? Well, only through a benevolence that transcends every other...and an infinite sense of humor. (See the conclusion of Chesterton's Orthodoxy for an expression of this idea.)

Maybe I'm trying to hard to squeeze out a lesson here--let alone four of them. Maybe we're just supposed to laugh. But if laughter expresses joy and delight, and God Himself is the fount of all true joy and delight (Psalm 16:11), then there is serious theology in every chuckle, chortle, giggle, and guffaw. Maybe that's what it means to say "seriously funny."

Ha Ha

2005-11-20T14:16:00.000-08:00

I just looked around and realized that my roommates and I are all sitting at our desks in front of our computers plugged into our headphones, absolutely oblivious to each other. We're all doing useful things, except for me maybe, since I am blogging, but its still interesting to see how indiviualistic we can be. Just plug in and away you go. You can even converse via instant messenger. Who needs to meet people? Ah ha! An ironic twist! One just got up and went into the bathroom!! Our computers can't solve all of our problems, which is a very comforting thought. Modern rationalism can't do everything it would like to think it can do!!

-the Professor

Just to bug you...

2005-11-18T14:59:00.000-08:00

I found some more info about the Lord of the Beans DVD already available. The following is a summary from a review on Amazon (credit to Mark Baker):

"On the occasion of his 122 birthday, Billboy Baggypants (Archibald Asparagus) prepares to leave his flobbit house in search of happiness. He leaves all his possessions, including a bean, to his nephew Toto (Jr. Asparagus). The bean has incredible power to grant wishes, but Toto wants to know why he was given the gift. Resolved not to use it for himself, he sets out on an epic quest to find the answer.

Aiding him in the quest is the fellowship of the bean. It's lead by Randolf (Mr. Nezzer in a surprisingly noble role) and includes Ear-O-Corn (Larry), Leg-O-Lamb (Jimmy Gourd) and his brother elf, and Grumpy (Pa Grape). Together, this group sets off to cross the mountains of Much-Snowia and reach the Razzberry Forest to find the answers. Meanwhile, the evil Lord Scaryman (the leek who's been around since episode one but still doesn't have a name) and his army of Sporks are searching for the group to take the bean from Toto. Will they succeed? And will Toto discover why he was given this great power?"

Actually, some of the reviews pointed out that this was more a spoof on the movies than the books, since some elements were drawn directly from the Jackson films (and we already know how the Professor, or whoever, feels about those). Either way, I have to say again that this is far less of a problem than when VT actually does "Bible" stories (like the random Moslem named Khalil in the Jonah movie who accompanies the prophet everywhere--even inside the great fish--and is the one who keeps reminding Jonah of God's true nature!). Emma, I hope you post a summary of your refutation when it's done...

Look What I Found! from The Professor

2005-11-16T18:05:00.000-08:00

Some nut posted this on the Forum Wall at my school, under the name of Higgins the Warrior Bard. We thought it worthy of blog status, so we wrangled up a copy.
It would seem to be mainly an outpouring of emotion on a certain subject, rather than a systematic discussion of ideas, but we think it still makes good points.

Calvinism or Bust -heck yes!
There seems to be a deep seated hostility toward the doctrine of predestination here at Bleaton College. Well guess what, y'all! I'm darn well sick and tired of being on the receiving end of the all of the abuse, so this body of writing is intended to start poking some eyes back and hopefully step on a few toes as well. My main problem is that people have set up this false dichotomy of "free will" and "predestination". They are not mutually exclusive because they are both elements of the same doctrine. Mankind must be held responsible for his actions, but God must be entirely in control of His creation. It is a complex issue, that cannot be sufficiently summed up in two words. That established, I am now going to take pot shots at silly free will people and am going to enjoy every minute of it.
Free Will-ism, in the sense that Man does whatever he wants, that we are the only ones in control of our existence, is basically a hopeless, unbiblical and laughable form of self-aggrandizement. What is our problem with the sovereignty of God? What kind of God is it that has to sit back and watch all the little people running around killing each other and hope that at least 144000 of them will decide to love Jesus, start a DSG, and if they are REALLY holy, write a devotional book based on a recent film, involving quotes from Emerson and Larry the Cucumber. Poor God! Isn't it a shame that He can't do anything about it! Of course, He can try all He wants, but in the end it's our own decision to be good little Christians. Heck, if we can make the choice, what's all this hubbub about Jesus? We don't need Jesus! We can do it on our own! It's just a matter of trying really hard...
Yes, I know, you'll say that God has to enable us to make the jump to hyperspace, to imbue us with His warm, fuzzy Spirit goop, and THEN we can choose to press the Big Blue Piping Hot Insta-Salvation-To-Go button. In that scenario, it's still US making that vital choice, without which God's whole plan would be useless. Isn't it great that God needs us to make His Story work? I feel 2 times better about myself! Or maybe 7 times better! Because 7 is a holy number. Wait, so is 3. Dang! This systematic theology stuff gets tough! We had better stick to Big Blue Buttons and Precious Moments. What kind of King do y'all want anyway? Why are earthly kings called "My Sovereign"? Where do we have this basic idea about the nature of a king? Why does the Bible use the image of a king to describe the Lord? (Whoa, Bible! Why do you have to bring that into it?) God is The King. From God, we derive our notion that a king should control all his land. Only, unlike earthly kings, God CAN and DOES control all His realm. Do you want to be ruled by a King that leans back on Cloud 7 (or was it 3?) and watches Star Trek TOS reruns, while the universe spins around, hoping that it can stop itself before it's too late? Or even if He really does try to be involved, can't ultimately assure us of our salvation? I want, I need to know that there is more than just myself out there keeping me from spinning down into fire and brimstone. I would like to think that when Paul says that nothing can separate us from the love and salvation that is in Christ, that in that "nothing" he would include the sinful nature of mankind along with death and fire and nakedness and other nasties. If you believe that God is the Author and the Finisher of your faith, then the burden is NOT on your own shoulders, which is a very somforting thought.
And no, I don't believe that people are robots. Humans must be responsible for what THEY do. What if God, wanting to show that when He gets ticked off, He can really let the thunderbolts fly, decided to let some people be awful horrible serial murderers so that He could destroy them, and so that He could also show mercy to other people, in effect, playing favorites and being very very unfair. It's as if He decided what would happen before hand! Or something weird. How unfair of Him! Quick! let's press His Big Blue Piping Hot Insta Grace button! It may trouble some of you to know that the aforedescribed scenario is actually found in Romans chapter 9 verse 22-23. Whoa. Or better yet is this: "You will say to me then, 'Why does He still find fault? For who has resisted His will?' But indeed, O man, who are you to reply against God? Will the thing formed say to him who formed it, 'Why have you made me like this?' Does not the potter have power over the clay, fromthe same lump to make one vessel for honor and another for dishonor?" I would like to think so. I don't want to be saddled with the responsiblity of my salvation! Nor do I want the credit either! I would much rather God was running the controls, than my insufficient mental faculties. I would screw it up for sure. But if God is in fact sovereign, and can do whatever the heck He wants with us, then I need not be anxious. I find it to be a profoundly hopeful thought. Some, nodoubt, will start having violent epileptic seizures when they think about all of the ramifications of this. They say, "What about free will?" All I can really say is what about free will? There is no such thing. Destiny is a very real thing. Nevertheless, God commands us to do good and to believe and to be holy, and we are not free from our practical obligations to God's ordinances. But you are not alone in the fight. If God is for us, who can be against us? God is taking a very active role in the unfolding of the song of redemption. He is the Great Poet, the Great King, the Divine Warrior, the Alpha and the Omega. Let us play our parts as best we can, do good and shame the devil.
There! Some one did it. Finally. Let the consternation begin.
-Higgins the Warrior Bard

Put this in the "Complaints" File

2005-11-15T08:05:00.000-08:00

Listening to the radio this morning, there was a story on the new Narnia movie. I'm sure you'll all be surprised to find out that the original Lion, etc. was sexist--apparently, it's not true that "battles are ugly when women fight," but rather that "battles are ugly affairs." A nice little bit of updating for a modern audience. This may seem like quibbling over details, but worldviews are all about the details. This kind of updating indicates that death of anything resembling chivalry and nobility, as well, perhaps, as the decline of the gentler arts of peace. Historically, it seems to me, the latter were often recognized to be the special domain, even dominion, of women, while the men were called to do the hard and dirty work in a fallen world to give the women the peace to do this. I'd appreciate some discussion of this, especially from our feminine contributors.

P.S. Can we get rid of the Chatterbox? It is visually annoying, and it seems as though someone (I'd guess it's old Thorny again) has chosen to use it for useless anonymous insults rather than rigorous, sustained criticism. "Bollocks"? Oo, that's sooooo clever.

What Dahlia would pick if she chose the Quote of the Day

2005-11-13T22:18:00.000-08:00

"Real men read Austen."
-Peter Leithart

Brad Pitt plays Adam! And Paris Hilton is Eve.

2005-11-13T13:55:00.002-08:00

Not really.
Some Hollywood producer, however, has decided to make a movie of "Paradise Lost." While the film hasn't been cast or a director found yet, the scriptwriters have been chosen, and promise to reflect in their words the universal theme of the book: "man searching for meaning in life." The producer hopes to stay very close to Milton's original language, too, although obviously putting it in modern prose that's relevant to today's culture. And, lest you should be discouraged, he thinks very highly of the actual book, praising its timelessness and even going so far as to term it "Myth with a capital M." (Oooo- a capital m!)
Of course, we think that the best part of this whole thing is coming up with lots of creative ways to not show nudity in the Garden of Eden.

ShadowBlade's Weekly Quotient of Current Events and Worldwide News

2005-11-12T17:14:00.000-08:00

This just in from the BBC. The world is situation is definitely deteriorating. It's really very sobering.

"The French government announced yesterday that it has raised itsterror alert level from "Run" to "Hide". The only two higher levelsin France are "Surrender" and "Collaborate". The rise wasprecipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's principalwhite flag manufacturing facility, effectively paralyzing theirmilitary.It's not only the French who are on a heightened level of alert.The Italians have increased their alert level from "Shouting Loudlyand Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing". Two more levelsremain, "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides".The Germans also increased their alert state, from "DisdainfulArrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs". They havetwo higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose".Seeing this reaction in continental Europe, the Americans have gonefrom "Isolationist" to "Find Somewhere Else in the Middle East Ripefor Regime Change". Their remaining, higher alert states are "Takeon the World" and "Ask the British and Australians for Help".Finally, here in GB, we've gone from "Pretend Nothing's Happening"to "Make Another Cup of Tea". Our higher levels are "RemainResolutely Cheerful" and "Win". In parliament today, the Britishattitude level was raised from "Miffed" to "Peeved". Soon though,it may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross".Londoners have not been at "A Bit Cross" since the Blitz in1940,when tea supplies all but ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorised from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance". The last timethe "A Bloody Nuisance" warning level was issued was during theGreat Fire, in 1666. I think it's the absolute limit myself. If these terrorist chaps have a grievance, why can't they just write an angry letter to the BBC?!"

Chirp...chirp...

2005-11-10T19:09:00.000-08:00

That's the sound of the crickets in the tall weeds growing in this untended tomato patch we call a blog. The good news is that we all have more important things to do than type every opinion that comes into our heads. The bad news is that the hoped-for liveliness from the new and diverse (yes, actual female perspectives!) membership has yet to manifest itself. The even worse news is that there is silence to fill, I type quite quickly, and I'm never adverse to giving my opinion about something--I've been restraining myself for a while now, since I'm a guest. I'll continue to restrain myself, as I think it might be healthy for me and I know it will be healthy for all of you. Hope you're all doing well, gang.

P.S. Just so you don't think I'm spending all my free time trying to post in the b.s.f.k.a.t.c., elapsed time on posting this: 6 minutes. Adieu.

Oh dear

2005-11-04T20:10:00.000-08:00

I looked into the Lord of the Beans disaster more deeply and so here are the plot and characters.

The main character is Toto Baggypants, who inherits a magic bean. With the help of his friend Randalf, and a spirited band of companions, he must set of to learn how to use his special gift. They brave the mountains of Snowyalot (or some such nonsense) and ultimately have to face the dastardly Lord Scaryman (I jest not; this is the painful truth) and his army of - uh oh, here it comes - Sporks! Oh no! Lord Scaryman wants to seize the bean and use it for his own selfish and evil purposes.
So, in other words, it is worse than we could have possibly imagined - and I am not referring to the evil designs of the aforementioned baddies.

-shadowblade

Joke of the Day

2005-11-01T07:44:00.000-08:00

Okay, so here is one joke I know: it happens to be at the expense of my own ecclesiastical tradition, so I suppose that's okay (now, if it were about Pentacostals, that would just be mean).

Question: How many Presbyterians does it take to change a lightbulb?
Answer: Change? We've had that lightbulb since 1941!

Sedgy Frails

2005-10-27T11:18:00.000-07:00

Well, after they turned the epic tragedy of Israel's exile in Babylon (see, e.g., Psalm 137) into an episode in a chocolate factory (run by Mr. Nebby K. Nezzar), and the fierce nobility of three Hebrew boys who choose to follow Yahweh--even if He doesn't rescue them--rather than prostrate themselve to the idol of an overweening tyrant into Rack, Shack, and Benny refusing to eat too many chocolate bunnies, did you expect them to honor anything? With blasphemous alchemy they transmute the faesten godcundlice aelgylden of tragedy and triumph (i.e., the Holy Scripture) into a liquame sporcaccione of "cute" grotequerie, and they pretend they are teaching Bible stories. Screwtape must regularly fall off his chair in delight at these guys.

Funny, although Racist

2005-10-26T20:57:00.000-07:00

What do you get when you throw a bomb into a French kitchen?

Linoleum-blown-aparte

The End Is Coming; Sooner Than We Had Hoped

2005-10-26T17:57:00.000-07:00

My world is crashing down around me. And I have finally have proof beyond a shadow of a doubt that the Credenda Agenda people really are endowed with the prophetic gift. A many episodes ago, they joked about Veggie Tales making a Lord of the Rings movie. Well folks, get out your generators and head for the mountains, cause they just did.

(dramatic pause; now would be an appropriate time for wailing and gnashing of teeth)

The Veggie Tales version is going to be called "Lord of the Beans". WHAT?!? ITS CALLED WHAT?!? What does that have to do with anything? I get the feeling that Veggie Tales does not know how to take a good story seriously. Instead of "Baggins", we get "Baggypants". And this Baggypants character has inherited magic beans I think. Or something. Yes. And he has to learn some lesson about either working together with the squashes and peas or using his gifts for the benefit of thetuber next door or something else that entirely misses the point. I dont remember the exact moral, but honestly, at this point does it matter anymore? If they are going destroy the spirit of the Lord of the Rings story, why even bother trying to associate the two? Aargh. I am considering moving to norway or some such place.

-the Professor

On having missed all the fun

2005-10-26T17:20:00.000-07:00

I must be somehow distantly related to the late and lamented (at least by a few of us) Hammer Thorkildsen, since I'm slightly disappointed to have missed all the fighting that happened earlier and now apparently won't happen again due to the new policy on commenting at this blog (which I do understand). Of course, perhaps with more of us on their team, the gentlemen known as Legion will have allies to defend their borders and so could open it up again without having to worry about it as much. Actually, that may not work, since there are also more of us to be attacked (and if we've been invited to join, we're probably as good or bad or whatever as they are)...Well, it's up to that ShadowBlade guy, if he's not off routing pagan hordes on the shores of the Baltic Sea. Maybe the Professor has some input (he is, after all Heah-cyning). On another note, I wish I could add to the joke list, but I don't know any. It must be my dour Calvinism.

2005-10-25T21:55:00.000-07:00

I'd like to take a moment to welcome all our new members (you know who you are) to The Cave. Having more posting members should liven things up a little and hopefully spawn some great discussion.

*The Sultan*

We're really diverse now!

2005-10-25T21:31:00.000-07:00

Because we have a female member. (That's me.) We weren't really diverse before, because we were all white males who think like white males- that is to say, rarely.

Oooh fun

2005-10-24T19:11:00.000-07:00

Here are some meta-jokes. I did not write them, but they're still funny.

-Three people of different nationalities walk into a bar. Two of them say something smart, and the third one says something dumb, thereby humiliating his fellow countrymen.

-Three women of three different hair colors are standing by a cliff. All three make wishes. The wish of the woman with the third hair color causes something terrible to happen.

-"Do you know the joke with the feminist crossing the street?"
"No, I -"
"IT'S NOT FUNNY!"

-A priest, a minister and a rabbi are walking down the street. The rabbi says, "Hey, did you hear the one about us?"

-Two lions are walking along the beach. One turns to the other and says, "It's awfully quiet today, isn't it?"

Enjoy!
-Professor

Before You Go

2005-10-24T19:00:00.000-07:00

Of course, we all know that the Dark Ages (so called) did not actually happen as such. Just using a figure of speech that we all understand. We do NOT endorse insubstantiated modernist presuppositions; on the contrary, we LIKE the middle ages. Ha ha.

-Man in the Pants

PS I really hope that "insubstantiated" is a word. Because if it isnt it should be.

Under Construction

2005-10-24T18:57:00.000-07:00

We had intended to disallow non-members from commenting by selecting the members only button under settings, but I am not exactly sure if it worked. Let me know (someone) if you can comment without being a member specifically of this blog. You may have to sign up for your own blog first.

Anyway, we appreciate it. We're still living in the dark ages over here. It's all rather vague.

-Man in the Pants

Why you should read everything first:

2005-10-24T17:58:00.000-07:00

I should not be confused with the Milkman who shares my name. I'm neither a Milkman (although I do enjoy the beverage, with some appropriate baked good), nor a closet Marxist (ask me my opinion of German philosophy sometime). Actually, I'm worse: I'm a lounge-chair-by-the-pool theonomist (cue Bob Dylan's Rainy Day Women #12 & 35). But I'll bet you several state-owned means of production that you don't know what I in fact mean by that latter term. Thank you and good night. Stultitia deridenda est.

If you thought we were pretentious before...

2005-10-24T17:35:00.000-07:00

Now, for some reason I can't quite fathom (too much French food?), the former student of mine who runs this blog has invited me to join. And I know smatterings of--get this--other languages than English! And they are old dead ones like Latin! THAT'S pseudo-intellectual for you; before we simply quoted dead old white males, but now we can quote the former rulers of the entire western world as well as the language that dominated most of Europe for a thousand years! Of course, not being an ancient Roman myself, I will quote it badly (like a novitiate monk from Britain), but most of you, having abandoned anything resembling historic culture, won't know the difference. For example (that's e.g., exempli gratia, NOT i.e.--that error really irks me!), our sors Vergilianae for today is thus: Atque his ingentem comitum affluxisse novorum invenio admirans numerum; matresque virosque collectam exsilio pubem, miserabile vulgus. Tenetisne omnes? Bene.

2005-10-23T23:16:00.000-07:00

If you want to become a member of this weblog, and be allowed the privilege of commenting, please email us at the address that should be on here somewhere (dig around), and we will take your request under consideration. Thanks.

-the Staff People

2005-10-23T22:55:00.000-07:00

Hello everybody! Chaterbox has gone away for the time being. Dont be too disappointed please. It may return someday, if the stars converge in a promising manner. But not until then. Sorry for the inconvenience and please continue to read our blog. We will try to raise the bar a little on the posts to keep all you dedicated readers on the edge of your seat. Thanks!

-The Professor

2005-10-23T19:18:00.000-07:00

Yep

2005-10-23T19:13:00.000-07:00

Thanks Mr. Foucachon. The point is well taken and I have indeed made it necessary to be a registered user to leave a comment. Ha ha! Yay. Take that, you cowering quivering profane lumps of cowardice. No more anonymous comments for you. No candy, no prizes, and NO birthday cake!

- the Man in the Pants
filling in for shadowblade, who is away in south america looking for dragons and crime lords

The Man in the Pants Does His Thing

2005-10-05T21:58:00.000-07:00

I was flipping through one of my notebooks and found two bracketed thoughts I had designated as blog posts. So, here they are for your perusal and consumption:

1. Have we created a contemporary culture around Christianity that we mistake for Christianity itself?

2. Does Jesus really teach only unity and love and embracing things? How much of an us/them element is there in the gospel? Is there no place for division?

Mot du Jour

2005-10-05T21:53:00.000-07:00

"...piece out..."!
-William Shakespeare, Henry V

GOD SAVE THE KING!

2005-10-04T16:36:00.000-07:00

Dear Monsieur Citizen Mr. Foucachon,
The opinions expressed by the various contributors, editors, staff, and infatuated, dedicated hangers-on of the esteemed webblog, The Cave, are not necessarily the views held by the rest of the contributors, editors, staff, and infatuated, dedicated hangers-on. Please excuse the Sultan's narrowminded views on cuisine. He is but an inexperienced and callow youth, with nothing resembling your widespread knowledge of food and the like.
We consider it honorable to kneel to the gastronomic superiority of the Gauls any day. However, I for one support the Sultan in the concept of pizza as the culmination of American cuisine. It's so very American, which may or may not be a good thing. And I have yet to be dissuaded of pizza's status as the glue that holds the universe together. French food is by far the best, but only the french have got it, and they tend to be possessive of their culture. French food may be the towering pinnacle of food cuisine internationale, but it is the ordinary, unpretentious, humble pizza that forms the very essence and substance of the pyramid. Despite all of your Liberte, Egalite and Fraternite, it is the lowly pizza that supports the gastronomic acheivments of other cultures. While many of us would love to feast on noble french dishes every day of the week, alas, we cannot and so we it is the pizza that allows us to survive on a day to day basis. We know a good thing when we see one. Without the pizza, we would starve.
Admittedly, most Americans are fat and stupid, preferring to eat McDonalds even when travelling in France. So they stride into the nearest of many Golden Arches which have profaned the sacred streets that house such marvels as crepes and gyros, squeak their big white tennis shoes on the floor, grin from ear to ear and demand 3 big macs. In english. In BAD english. Its sickening. It's shameful to be an American in Paris (ha ha), regardless of what way you provide for your nutritional needs.
Despite that, you have no reason to scorn pizza, declaring it "...not..." "...real food...". Pizza is most certainly real food. It's sturdy, simple, and generally dependable, cheap food. Even the French could learn a few lessons concerning the art/science of making a good pizza. Out of all the nations of the world, I believe that the Americans have inadvertently stumbled upon the most nearly Platonic ideal of Pizzaness. I most certainly do not attribute this accomplishment to skill, but rather to Providence and dumb luck. It was fated. Do not kick against the inexorable goads of fate and providence and destiny. Embrace pizza for the miracle that it is!
In addition to the other qualities of pizza mentioned by Sultan, we also have reason to believe that it is the key to taking over the nation of China. Our military anlalysts are hard at work and will be posting their findings shortly.

-ShadowBlade, Scourge of the North; Wielder of Justice; Friend to the Fatherless; Terror to the Lawless; Upholder of Wisdom; Master of Darkness; Servant of Light; Knight Errant and Dragon Slayer, 1st Class

Prof. Dragonroy: Never Ceasing Fountain of Pretty Good Stuff

2005-09-28T20:56:00.000-07:00

Once again we succumb to the wildly shrieking throngs banging do0wn our cyber-office door. It's been a week since we posted anything and our millions of avid readers (power of suggestion, you know) are starving. Attentive as always to the will of the masses, we return from our week off full to the brim of goodness and creativity. Time to spread it around a little.

First off, The Lord of the Rings, adapted to film by Pete Jackson and Co, happens to be one of my favorite films. Jackson is a superb director in the technical aspect of his vocation. He knows how to place the camera, how to maneuver a shot, what to look for in a good scene. However, for all his knowledge, he has not wisdom. Being a pagan, he cannot fully understand Tolkien's vision for Middle earth, drawn as it was, from a Christian worldview. The specifically Christian themes are often lost on Jackson, and so consequently don't make it onto the big screen.
Jackson has a tendency to sensationalize and deconstruct his subject. Being a fan of comic books and horror flicks at heart, everything in LotR is bigger and better and more intricate and more digital and muckier and slimier and darker and nastier than anything we had imagined. However, this tendency to show all the death scenes in their utter brutal finality and bloodiness, the sheer brutality of warfare (Aragorn breaking necks and clubbing in skulls), to pile on the mud and the unkempt wigs, the scruffy beards, etc. in effect shows too much. It demythicizes what was primarily intended to be a myth. One of the chief aspects of Myth is the element of the unknown, of the strange, the supernatural, the dark, the terrifying, the magnificent; all of which are what they are because they are above our ordinary experience. My favorite example of this in the films is the enigmatic Eye of Sauron. During the first movie, we catch fleeting glimpses of this fiery apparition, which appears at very well planned moments. We have no idea what it is, and it is pretty scary. It is mysterious. We cannot explain it readily with our intellect, we cant account for its existence, and so it becomes a threat. It is Mythical in the sheer terror and power that emanates from it. The Wheel of Fire remains a watchful presence of evil throughout the Fellowship. However, during the next two installments, we see it in increasing detail and it becomes accordingly less mythical in proportions. y the end, The Eye of Sauron, which represents all the forces of evil in Middle earth, is no more than a wimpy search light stuck on top of a tower. It even has to turn around and focus to see things. The image of the evilest (a word?) being in Middle earth, being a giant eye, stuck to the top of a tower, attached to the prongs by a couple lightning bolts (is it three? or five? it might be five lightning bolts). We immediatly ask questions like how did it get there, how long, can it come down, etc. Whether unconsiously or not, when given enough info. our minds will try to break everything down rationally. Thats what we do. And consequently it loses its mythical quality. The mythical idea that is represented by Sauron the Great becomes tied down to a tiny little space in reality, and is no longer an eminent threat to us. We refer to it as The Eye of Sauron, which becomes the name of the villain, rather than term used to decribe an aspect of Sauron, namely his farseeingness. Too literal.
Also too humanistic. Aragorn, Gandalf and Frodo, who are intended in the context of the story to be definite role models, characters who we can only aspire to resemble, while the others (Sam, Eomer, Boromir) are intended for us to relate to. However, in the film version, there are no ideal characters. Theyre all like us. No ideal christlike figures for this pagan director. No sir, we want down to earth stuff, complete with scraggly beards, matted hair, excessive muck, etc. There are no ideal figures. Everyone deals with moral conflicts and issues just like us. This misses the point, once again diminishing the Mythical quality of the thing. We dont get the mythical heroes Tolkien created. This version of the story could have taken place in our own world. In altering the characters, or not giving them the attention they deserve, Jackson has altered the story.
Not just adapted to the film, but changed the story itself. Tolkien's vision of the story is built around characters. Tolkien states that he does not necessarily envision the characters in terms of their garments and attire. The details arent the point. Jackson and Co place an extensive amount of emphasis on creating an entirely believable world, often to the detriment of characters such as Aragorn. This where i really lose it, so I will refrain from expoundng for the time being. Anyway, in creating what they consider to be an entirely believable vision of Middle Earth, they lose some the essentail unbelievable qualities which make it so endearing and so powerful. Gandalf's magic is practically non existent. Grond is just a big metal wolf that smashes down little toothpick gates in three secons flat. The withcking utters no enchantments over the battering ram as it crashes into the gates. They dont find a new tree growing in the snows of mount mindolluin. Aragorn has no "magic" brooch. The elves look more like druggies than creatures born of the earth, who awoke in a swamp and have power over the supernatural. I could go on. However, I think it is important to pause and complain about Aragorn here.
Aragorn is without a doubt one of the most significant characters in the story. His story of finally returning from his journeys to claim his throne is one of the most compelling story lines in the plot. From the beginning of the book, he knows his destiny and is determined to fulfill it. There is no wishywashy follow your heart stuff in regards to that in the story anywhere. I make a distinction between the story and the book. The film version cannot tell the book exactly, but it should remain true to the story. Jackson does not by any means. Aragorn is a whiny tough guy who never once acts in a truely royal fashion. Even when he is crowned king, he turns around only to give a lame speech about working together and sharing and stuff. What!!?? He looks pretty kingly, but he never takes on the moral and intellectual seriousness and weight of a king.
He is way too much like us. Far too conflicted. It is late and my writing is deteriorating rapidly.

So, to conclude: Aragorn had no business being king, The Eye was geeky, Eowyn had way to much fun flirting with Aragorn's irresistable scruffiness, Orlando Bloom should have been Arwen and what happened to Bombadil and Glorfindel? Though this topic will doubtless raise its hoary head from time to time, The End.
-the professor

ShadowBlade, the Dark Warrior, speaks his mind

2005-09-21T18:34:00.000-07:00

Interesting. When Wheaton College decides to use a "liturgy" in their pseudo-worship services in three day a week mandatory chapel, what are they saying about the style of the ordinary services?
We think of liturgy as referring specifically to church services that employ hymns, scripture readings, responsive readings, etc. Not so! Liturgy means the order that inherently exists in the service, as there is order in anything. In essence, when we so glibly point out that we are doing a special "liturgical" service today (ooooh, big stuff), we are in effect implying that our ordinary services are just that: ordinary as well as being without a liturgy, without order. Honestly, I would have to concur.
I have a special After-Chapel music playlist on my computer composed of good solid rock music, satirical, philosophical Ben Folds pop and some great Emmylou Harris country stuff. It basically serves as antidote to the insipidity, triteness, and mediocrity that sort of engulfs my consciousness for 45 minutes every Monday, Wednesday and Friday.

Mot du Jour

2005-09-21T18:29:00.000-07:00

"There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal."
-CS Lewis, "The Weight of Glory"

Courtesy of Smith the Milkman

The Lady Doth Protest Too Much Methinks

2005-09-18T13:42:00.000-07:00

be_zen8 said...
A pseudo-self reflexive perception of 'quirkiness' generally denotes that the person/s is anything but. I realise life is full of shades, but it is entirely my choice which one I focus on and is anything but your business. Perhaps you should consider why leaving mindless negative comments on other people's blog makes you feel so superior/intelligent/funny etc.
The End.
Sat Sep 17, 11:42:32 PM

Dear be_zen8,
You don't think we're quirky? Our mothers say we are.
The End, Part II
-ShadowBlade, Scourge of the North

Old Thingy (George Firthingham-Walters IV) says:

2005-09-18T12:30:00.000-07:00

The anonymous commenteer strikes again, this time diguising his foully fiendish features in human form, posing as Robert Thornton, a stuffy Brit from Essex. Keep at that Weetabix, old scout, old lad, old boy. You're getting positively grouchy.
Mind if we call you Thorny? We had hoped to hire a Frenchman as official blog tormentor/punctuation editor/jester/assistant weekend janitor, but I dare say you'll get on alright. Though you will need to work on your cyber sneer, don't you know, what, what?

Man in the Pants

2005-09-17T18:46:00.000-07:00

HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!
We are happy!
-man in the pants

From the Staff

2005-09-17T18:32:00.000-07:00

Dear be_zen8,
We can appreciate an intentional emphasis on pretty things. If we understand rightly, it is your destiny to make people happy, just as it is ours to be skeptical and quirky. Not everyone can be everything. Carry on but keep that eternal perspective. Be well rounded. The world is made of greys and browns as well as pinks and blues. As a sidenote, we are very happy. We laugh great long laughs at the comments that people send us. We take great joy in reading those comments and in fulfilling our destiny as skeptical bloggers. We think it's fun.
-The Staff

What's That?

2005-09-17T17:12:00.000-07:00

I can't vouch for them, but "newbergite" seems to think that Weetabix would do you good, oh Anonymous One. My personal experience with Weetabix has been shady. I get chills up and down my spine as those cold, beady little weetabix eyes lear up at you from a soggy bowl of skim, or put forth their frosty glare from a box top. I think to myself "serving suggestion only" and run the other way. However, some people swear by it and its kind, and even RobinHood himself feared to meet the Sherrif of Nottingham (or was it wicked Prince John?) in combat whent the latter had his daily bowl of W. It may have wholesome qualties of which I have lived in ignorance all these years. Give it a try and tell me what you think. Oh yes, you may cease baiting your breath. We have responded.
-Man in the Pants

Oh hello. Yes, thank you lurker. We tend to concur. George carried himself through with great dignity and decorum, considering that Pizza-Hater is his first major post.

Pizza-Hater or George Gets Deep

2005-09-17T16:19:00.000-07:00

This comment appeared today on the post: "Response to Comment on 'Oh Blast'":

Anonymous said...
i've read a lot of blogs in my life, but I must say that yours is the most pretentious, stuck up, pseudo intellectual nonsense it has ever been my misfortune to read. I have never come across people (though I fear you are just one person pretending to have a "real-life" friend) so full of their own importance in my life. It's actually amusing that you have such a high opinion of yourself when its clear to me and pretty much everyone else that has read the rubbish you consistently and tirelessly spout that you are a shallow and vacuous person desperately masquerading as intelligent. You prattle on about subject matter, on which you have obviously no grasp, affecting greater importance and talent than you could ever possess, its really laughable, if not a little pathetic.You write with absolutely no style or character but are of the deluded opinion that you have talent, while its painfully obvious you are bereft of any such gifts. Your cringeworthy attempts at satire should immediately desist before you embarass yourself further. Reading "The Sultan's" insufferable and infantile ramblings on pizza left me in little doubt as to the limited mental capacity of the average American. Its rather shocking that a country that proclaims itself as the "leaders of the free world" produces such slow-witted and idiotic citizens.I suggest you get a grip on reality and go back to flipping burgers or waiting tables or whatever it is you all do for a living in the good ol' USA and maybe try reading something worthwhile in your spare time. I shall wait your reply with baited breath, and no doubt marvel as you mangle the Queen's english with your use of such vivid phrases as "busted up" and marvellously effective adjectives as "lame"
Sat Sep 17, 03:04:59 PM

Not only is this fellow apparently a joyless old cynic, but he also hides under a mask of cowardly anonymity. If nothing else, it at least may be said for us that we are full of cheer and boldness. Are we to blame if we were raised in the midst of mead and laughter, merriment and song? I should jolly well hope not! At least we have a sense of humor! What you interpret as pompostiy is actually a self-satirical style. In other words, we do not allow ourselves the leisure of taking ourselves too seriously. Unlike SOME people.
What exactly is "anonymous"'s point of contention with us anyway? Is he/she/it jealous that we are able to communicate both in the vernacular and in the elevated modes of the english tongue? That we are able to alternate between words like incongruous and busted demonstrates a greater grasp of the language, rather than a lesser one. Are we lacking in style and character? Rubbish! We are already a bunch of characters and our style ranges from the academic to the insipidly poetic to the generally quirky.
Perhaps he/she/it is really just concerned for our reputation. It seems unlikely, but if so we would assure you that our honor is stirling. First and foremost in our minds is the protection of our honor, our what God considers honor. As for the world's praise, we have no use for it. It is as dust and ashes.
Maybe it's an age old family feud that ShadowBlade neglected to relate to us. If anybody was to have a blood-feud on his record, it would probably be him.
In regards to the accusation that we are in essence lacking in anything resembling a real life, that we are basically geeks, we say "hurrah", drink your health and enmbrace the concept with open and heartfelt arms. Of course we're geeks/dweebs/paramisasociocentricpseudonerds/(fill in the blank). We have no use for conventional society, or rather, it has no use for us. Do we have friends? Of course! Lots of friends! Everybody with any sense at all likes geeks. They are some of the most interesting people in the world. But that's another story.
Most unwarranted of all is the assertion that we could benefit by reading more books. To that we first say "my dear old fish, go and boil your head" then we proceed to list off the numerous titles and authors that we have checked off our list: Hobbit; Lord of the Rings; Silmarillion; Unfinished Tales; Three Musketeers; Count of Monte Cristo; Man in the Iron Mask; Hunchback of Notre-Dame; Les Miserables; Book of the Dun Cow; Paradise Lost; Purgatorio; Macbeth; Henry V; Napoleon's Art of War; BlackArrow; Treasure Island; Chronicles of Narnia; Screwtape Letters; The Weight of Glory; CS Lewis On Stories; How to be a Gentleman; Mere Christianity; Malcolm Muggeridge's The End of Christendom, But Not of Christ; nearly all Patrick F. McManus books; Idylls of the King; Illiad; Odyssey; Aeneid; Beowulf; Tale of Two Cities; Leave It To Psmith; Young Men in Spats; Jeeves; Jeeves in the Morning; Jeeves and the Tie That Binds; Jeeves and the Feudal Spirit; How Right You Are, Jeeves!; DorothySayers (Lord Peter Views the Body; The Document in the Case; The Nine Tailors); GK Chesterton's Father Brown Mysteries; Charles Williams' novels; we could go on, but we are feeling sufficiently vindicated in that regard. Take that!
Your LAME insults which you have hurled in vain at the iron tower of ego that is The Sultan (sorry Sultan) have glanced off, spinning into nothingness and finally burning down, a twisted wreckage of space junk. You have railed against the evils of small minds and weak imaginations. We are able to take joy in the smallest, most apparently insignificant details of God's unbelievably complex world. GK Chesterton said something to the effect that the world will never suffer for lack of wonders, but for lack of wonder (ours paraphrase). Loosen up a little. Stop and feel the leaves on a tree. Stare at the grass, at the sky, and think about how strane it is that we dig up strange roots of all shapes and sizes and eat them. Marvel at the process that turned a living, breathing animal's flesh into those flat meat circles which make pizza so beautiful. And so tasty. What does pepperoni mean anyway? Must be italian. Neato.
It takes an imagination to take pleasure in these things, to discover the endless new world that lie hidden in the bark and the dirt and the green growing things, to make excitement out of the dust of the earth.

In other words: "oh yeah?!".

-George Firthingham-Walters IV

Response to Comment on "Oh Blast"

2005-09-16T19:49:00.000-07:00

Adoring is good, blindly, mmmm not so much. We prefer you adore us with full and clear understanding of what you're getting yourself into. As for the comment on "when it Rains, It Pours", it was entirely unwarranted, I assure you. And we are NEVER nasty. I have no idea why anyone in their right mind would delete one of our particularly lucid and pithy commetns from their blog. The comment itself may have run along the lines of "this is really lame please tell me this is a joke" sort of comment. Very generally you understand. Nothing too offensive I take it. I suppose some people just can't stand having their nice tidy little escapist worlds busted up. Reality hurts. As for the blogger herself, I'm pretty sure she is mentally unstable. Take a look at her blog if you need further evidence beyond the untarnished sincerity of myself. Was it the Man In The Pants writing, you would have great cause to be skeptical. The silly thing was all about orgainc food and takin lovely walks in parks and cute puppies with their wee little noses and smelly candles and soap and things. As if that wasn't bad enough, it was written in this overemotional, pink and blue style with lots of picturesque ribbons all over it sort of style. Just the sort of person who would take Thomas Kinkaid (is that spelled right?) over a Rembrandt. It was that bad. Totally unrealistic. I could have sworn it was satirical. Alas that my heart spoke untrue. Good to know you're on our side.
-ShadowBlade

Please Welcome: The Man in the Pants!

2005-09-16T16:14:00.000-07:00

The late Mr. Thorkildsen has been replaced by the esteemed Man in the Pants. Know for his elusive nature and enigmatic personality, we do not doubt that this gentleman will add an entirely new dimension to our overall personality, albeit a somewhat colorful and often questionable dimension. You may have met the Man in the Pants, though for your sake, we hope you have not. He tends to appear at apparently arbitrary times, most often in one's pants, in the side pocket region, communicates his demands in a high piping voice, then is gone like wind in the night, like the enigma that is The Man in the Pants. To fully appreciate him, you must understand that his somewhat shocking and embarrassing antics are the manifestation of a mischevious and warmly playful personality. He wants to be your friend. He wants to play. However, scorned and down-trodden, he came to us, a broken and contrite misfit in a world of conformity, where Men in the Pants are considered to be the irrelevant remnants of a past age. Naturally, we embraced this poor lost one as one of our own, being the warmhearted and loving creatures that we are. We hope you will feel the same. Please do not expect him to fill the shoes of Hammer. We prefer to think of it as merely replacing the aforesaid shoes, which by the way, much to large for any of us, making an attempt at filling the twice aforesaid shoes quite impractical and utterly ludicrous. And we strive to eschew the ludicrous. There is nothing which raises our hackles as much as the prospect of ludicrosity. If we accomplish nothing else in our short fleeting lives, let it at least be said upon our various burials, chanted over our caskets and engraved upon our tombstones that while we lived, we eschewed the ludicrous and shamed the devil. Amen, let it be so.
-The Staff

Oh Blast

2005-09-16T15:54:00.000-07:00

Some impertinent Hollywood director took it into his head to create a film named after our blog: "The Cave". How dare he! Now we're going to have to change our name to "the blog formerly known as The Cave". We looked around a bit, but the movie-men seem to have taken all the possibly appropriate titles: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly, The Untouchables, T.H.E.M., The Shadow Riders; the list goes on. Every last one of these perfectly good names has been sucked into the void by corrupt filmmakers engulfed by their love of mammon.And now The Cave. We shall probably change our collective identity at some point soon, but until then PLEASE do not confuse us with some guy's awful movie about celebrities who get trapped underground with slimy man-eating demons. Ick! What an awful idea! Wait..the parallels are creepy. Our name is Legion after all. Maybe some one heard about the film before we did and that's why no one seems to want to get trapped in here with us. We should probably be offended that we get so little recognition from that adoring public that doubtless exists, if only in a Platonic idealized form somewhere beyond the spheres of the planets and stars, floating about aimlessly, just waiting to be realized here in cyberspace. Even hatemail would be appreciated (no, wrong word, more like received gleefully).
-Professor Dragonroy, High King of the Britons

When it rains, it pours

2005-09-15T18:00:00.000-07:00

There are currently two Beowulf films in the works. Yes, not one, but TWO Beowulf movies coming out in the next two or three years. One is live action, and the other a motion capture movie (the technique used for to create Gollum and "The Polar Express"). The live action version sounds best really. It is filmed in Iceland and has lots of strange scandinavian names in the credits. So its not mainstream, I dont think. It is going to be a two movie job, with the sequel containing the final dragon episode. The first part is called"Beowulf and Grendel" and has changed things around a bit, but still tries to remain true to the poetic essence of the story, whatever that may be. The screenwriter, whose blog I took a look at thought that "Beowulf", in its present unwieldy form, replete with impractically long monologues and development of action would not work on the screen. So he tried adapt it while remaining consistent to the event that may or may not have inspired/informed the myth, which was written down several centuries later by biased Christians far removed from the incident (this is his take on it). In other words, he has deconstructed the myth. He also claims to not be convinced by the account of Grendel's descent from the evil, twisted spawn of Cain, and so we instead get Grendel's father and son, which somehow solve the problem. In the storyboards, Grendel looked more troll like than demon like, which I suggest is a result of their hesitance to buy into the mythical quality of the poem. This will doubtless be detrimental to the production, as the elevated, above everyday experience, mythical quality is what captures the imagination in the poem. So I think it possible that we get Beowulf the Man, rather than Beowulf the Myth, which is disappointing. However, to the screenwriter's credit, he has read 6 or 7 different translations of the poem and has also read it in the original Old English, which is impressive. Despite all that, he seems to have allowed his modern materialistic bias to have influenced his better judgement as an amateur beowulf scholar. Expect a down to earth, nitty gritty version, probably with weird dredlocks and mud (oh, come on, everyone wore mud back then!).The costuming and cinematography appears to be stunning. I would love to be impressed with this film, but am not getting my hopes up. Pray that I am mistaken in my assessment. Pray very hard.
As for the other version, rumor has it that it co-stars Angelina Jolie as the Queen of Darkness who tempts Beowulf during his Quest to become King of the Geats. Oh dear. Need we say more?
I personally could see her as Grendel's mother, and would appreciate seeing Beowulf put some large sword-shaped holes in her. But I happen to be a bit skeptical of the effectiveness of a seductive, creepy, fatalic Queen of Darkness character in this particular instance.

The Professor Hiccups

2005-09-14T17:13:00.000-07:00

Really though. I pass this sign every morning on may way to class and again on the way home. here it is (this is NOT a joke, though I wish it was):

FREE DONUTS
(picture of HUGE donut here)

... an opportunity to worship together, serve together
and learn together. Oh yeah, we're in walking distance
too. Please join us!
Bethany Chapel

9:00 Breaking of Bread
10:00 Coffee and Donuts
10:30 Chapel Service

Right! So what are we supposed to notice here? Hmmmmm? Is it "christian fellowship"? Is it "powerful and dynamic and convicting preaching"? Is it "actually uses bible in church service"? No - it's "FREE DONUTS". Oh, great. Notice their schedule is strategically designed with DONUTS at the center of things. With donuts at the center of the order of worship and services for the morning. Now that's just sad. Really, people. Impress me. You can do better than this.

Elegy for Hammer Thorkildsen by Smith the Milkman

2005-09-14T17:03:00.000-07:00

Mighty metal hammer
Strong heavy sturdy
Lay that hammer down

(Editor's Note: Smith the Milkman does not make a habit of writing either haiku poetry or elegies, so please hold off on the comments. Take it as heartfelt.)

So Long Frank Lloyd Wright

2005-09-14T16:57:00.000-07:00

We regret to announce that Mr Hammer Thorkildsen has just recently passed away. In a bizzare gardening accident. No, you don't want to know the details. It's one of those things that is really better left unsolved. He will be replaced soon, we hope, by someone living up to his legacy. He may have not had the greatest intelligence, but he had a big heart, as we, who were possibly his only friends, knew. He will be missed sorely. His passing has left a gaping rift in our hearts and lives. We will now be taking suggestions and applications for a replacement contributor, if you know anyone who might be interested.

ShadowBlade Spews Forth

2005-09-14T16:35:00.000-07:00

He's a deep one, that Sultan is. Of course, we like pizza too, and welcome posts of all significances and interests. We are very open minded and all-embracing and loving and accepting and loving. Because Jesus never preaches anything about division in His ministry. Anywhere. I see some divisive skepticism. Stop the hate people! Love a little! You don't buy that stuff about love and embracing things do you? Huh? Sure! Whatever! Wanna fight about it? Yeah, I thought so.
Our site is a haven for the lost and the fatherless, where the wounded can come to rest without fear of being scorned or set upon by cruel, hateful, bigoted, white, middle-class, male, fundamentalist christians. And no, we don't want an evil, power hungry theocracy preaching a gospel of judgement and fire holding the reigns of power in our nation. And just in case anyone was curious, neither do we espouse the doctrine of reincarnation. Just in case.
Just a thought: has anyone noticed that the greatest youth and otherwise ministry of all time ended with the once wildly popular minister being foully and brutally murdered? And mocked?And abandoned? What!? Did he try giving his testimony? What about donuts? Were there free donuts? Maybe he was not loving enough. I bet he made people feel uncomfortable. That was it wasn't it? He was judgemental, I knew it. See, you just can't make people feel uncomfortable; that's no way to bring them into the family of God. The Bible is about love, not division.
Hang on...are they different necessarily? Love for what anyway? And why does that youth minister anecdote remind of some story I've heard before?

Pizza!

2005-09-12T19:54:00.000-07:00

Pizza. This is a word that causes great longing and desire in the hearts of men and women of all ages. Pizza seems to be one of those strange things that people of all types hold in common. Sure Pizza is good you say but what makes it so special? Well I’ll tell you. Pizza you see is perfect. Pizza hasn’t always been perfect but as it’s been embraced by many different ethnicities it has evolved into a food that is veritably flawless. In fact Pizza’s perfection is found mainly in this diversity. If you can’t find a pizza you like then you don’t deserve to eat. Pizza comes with numerous different crusts, sauces, meats, vegetables, cheeses and even fruits! There are literally thousands of options when creating pizza from scratch and the incredible fact is so many of them taste great. Now I’m not trying to discredit pizza in its more simplistic original Italian form for there is certainly beauty found in this simplicity, I am simply commenting on the diversity that has been attained with pizza after its exposure to other ethnicities and cultures. There are a few other factors in pizzas greatness. It’s just so easy. It’s easy to eat, it’s easy to cook, and if you don’t want to cook it it’s easy to buy. And last but most definitely not least is the fact that Pizza in its fuller forms is the scientifically perfect food. On a well decked out pie you will find Carbs (the crust), Protein (meat and cheese), and of course vitamins and fiber and all that other jazz can be found in the veggies. What other self-contained food tastes as good as pizza is as easy to eat as pizza or is as easily available? None I tell you, none at all and that is why pizza is the glue that holds the universe together.
Enjoy!
The Sultan

To What Heights (of frozen dairy products) We Have Fallen

2005-09-11T21:02:00.000-07:00

The latest from the distinguished minds at Wheaton College, Illinois:
On saturday, directly following the outdoor barbecue, a child's swimming pool (unused, I assume) was rigged up on a round table outside. Before we knew what was happening, 12 tubs of ice cream (chocolate, strawberry and vanilla for the sake of diversity) were stacked in rapid succession in the pool. Knives and bananas were passed out, platters of cookies appeared from the direction of stage right, cups of peanuts, chocolate chips, sprinkles, chocolate syrup caramel syrup and cans of whipped cream were produced from the offing and Chaos ensued. The contents of the cups and the contents of the cans and the contents of the banana peels were cast upon the great peak consisting of something like 48-60 gallons of ice cream. Cookies were hurled willy nilly, as often onto the growing mound of goop as into the crowd, while all the assembly took up the cry: "cookies! cookies!". A massive riot ensued resulting in several casualties, not the least of which were several well to do chocolate chip cookies of respected social standing. The east face of the colossus collapsed part way through the ritual, but the impassioned worshipers carried on, blind to all but their ice cream, unaware of their danger, urged on by the raised voices of their fellow classmates. Shrapnel flew like so many deadly arrows, striking down many a hardy soul. Whipped cream was bereaved of its natural ordained use and soon it adorned the heads of many of those participating in the strange ceremony. Worshipers danced on late into the night, weaving strange and foreign shapes about the slowly melting sacrifice, even as the fat and the blood poured off into the trough that was a kiddie pool. The dancers collapsed, having eaten their fill once and again. They were exhausted in every way: emotionally, physically, spiritually, intellectually. But it was worth the effort. They had just fulfilled a semester of chapel credits.
Wake up now, before we hit the ground. Please tell me it was just a dream.

"Naked? What are you talking about? They're monkeys!"

2005-09-11T20:31:00.000-07:00

My anthropology professor believes that God used evolution to bring about the existence of all life on the planet, including humans, primates, and professional wrestlers. He's not an evolutionist. He does not believe in evolutionISM as a worldview, with all the necessary depressing ramifications. However, he really believes that God ordained the slow, "random", drawn out evolution of all species of plants and animals, and as soon as the monkeys started walking upright and their jaws became the right shape, He went to one named Adam and BAM! we have eden, the fall and the rest is history. In his mind he has reconciled the figurative nature of the Genesis creation account with evolution as the most scientifically feasible solution to our geological and archaeological knowledge. Maybe, but I don't care if Genesis is figurative or not. Much of it probably is. Or at least it is not meant entirely literally. What I mean is, Genesis is not intended as a history and geology textbook, but is rather intended to describe God's creative nature. For example, how long is "a day"? How do we decide how long a day is before the sun and moon were created? Maybe there were six literal days or maybe there weren't. That's not the point. You could read it figuratively and still come up with the same ideas about God's power and creativity, which is what we're supposed to understand from reading Genesis: God is the sole Creator. I very well might read it in a metaphorical sense. But what are the metaphors telling us about God? We don't really care if it was a week literally or if the "days" are only organizational in purpose. What bothers me about an evolutionary view of creation (not to be confused with evolutionism, which is a worldview) is that it tells a bad story. God appears to me to demonstrate less power and miraculous creativity and imagination if you think he used evolution to bring about the earth's inhabitants. I don't actually have a problem with evolution on basis of its feasabiility. I'm not a scientist. But I don't like it because it's boring. The Bible is not be boring. The Bible is the greatest story ever told, complete with figurative language and metaphors and histories and facts. It should be stunning, profound, exciting and riveting. Not boring and dull. People who believe that God used the natural materialistic empirical processes of evolution only annoy me because they have no imaginiation.
Imagine Milton trying to write Paradise Lost, the great english epic poem, about two newly evolved primal hominids. Short, hairy, heavy brows, hunched shoulders. I can see it now. Maybe we've just found the solution to filming Paradise Lost: the Movie. We'll just get a couple of trained chimps in early human makeup. Solves the problem of having Adam and Eve frollicking about with nothing on for the entirety of the poem.

Close to Home?

2005-09-05T15:06:00.000-07:00

In reference to Wheaton's Rock Circus of the Psalms:
These excerpts are from St. Augustine's commentary on Psalm 81, actually from Wheaton's Internet Christian Classics Electronic Library:

"For there are many that live not worthily of the baptism which they have received. For how many that are baptized have chosen rather to be filling the Circus than this Basilica! ""Ye who are gathered together to-day, ye are this day the congregation of the Lord, if indeed unto you the Psalm is sung, "Exult ye unto God our helper." Others exult unto the Circus, ye unto God: others exult unto their deceiver, do ye exult unto your helper: others exult unto their god their belly, do ye exult unto your God your helper."" I suppose there are some here to-day, for instance, I think it likely there are some here whom their friends wished to hurry away to the circus, and to I know not what triflings of this day's festivity: perchance they have brought those persons with them to church. But whether they have brought those with them, or whether they have by them not permitted themselves to be led away to the circus, in the "water of contradiction" have they been tried. Do not then be ashamed to proclaim what thou knowest, to defend even among blasphemers what thou hast believed. ...However much the bad that are aliens may rage, O that our own bad people would not help them!""Some stand up for the circus, some for the amphitheatre, some for the booths in the streets some for the theatres, some for this, some for that, some finally for their "new gods;" "they shall go in their own affections.""

Not all completely relevant, of course, but interesting.

Bad Falling-Through-Space Dream

2005-09-04T06:47:00.000-07:00

Wake Up Now. The visionaries at Wheaton College continue to demonstrate their intellectual prowess, this time in the form of a Rock Circus of the Psalms. The Circus will incorporate elements of all three: jugglers, dancers, gymnasts; rock music; excerpts of the psalms. There's something for everybody!
I'm experiencing sort of a disconnect over this way. Trying to think about what could have prompted them to do this leaves me asking only one question: will there be cotton candy?

Sultan

2005-09-01T15:21:00.000-07:00

True true!

Mot du jour

2005-09-01T14:48:00.000-07:00

"Go when you can, not when you have to."

(can refer to just about anything, very useful: the bathroom, meals, class, shopping, the afterlife, etc. Armed with this and aphorisms like "when it's gone, it's gone", parents can take on the task of childrearing with impunity and intrepidity.)

We're Diverse! We have a ninja elf, a humanities professor, an english aristocrat and a scandinavian thing. And a milkman.

2005-09-01T13:25:00.000-07:00

What is diversity? So often we toss this term around like it's constitutional law or something; pardon me. If it was constitutional law, we wouldn't talk about it at all. Regardless, I think we overuse the term. In all our attempts to create structured diversity in our culture, we have forgotten that diversity is not a thing necessarily, but a descriptive term referring to a difference of things. Diversity is self defeating when we try to pin it down as having a distinctive appearance, which in fact shows that we donot like diversity after all. We want to k now just exactly our diverse student body is going to look like, exactly how many asians, african-americans, native americans, hispanics and huns should be on the jobsite, which we dtermine by just how much they have been oppressed, by how much of a minority they are etc.
There are, in fact, diverse opinions of diversity, as if things weren't weird enough before. What are we really trying to do when we embrace diversity? Self-aggrandizement, perhaps? Look at us we are all divers in exactly the same way? People are diverse. They have different souls, diferent interests, different pesonalities. I do not have a problem with diversity, so-called. But to limit it is dangerous. You could take one asian, one hispanic, one african-american and one white kid and put them all together and they could learn nothing from each other. They could all like the same foods, the same books, etc. Or they could not. Anyway, the point is that to make it formulaic would defeat the purpose of being willing to consider the goodnes of elements of cultures different from your own, keeping in mind your own bias (not that bias is all bad or that all bias is bad). Maybe a better way of thinking about it would be acting kindly and considerately toward other people you meet and discerning what you can learn from them, rather than going out of your way to fit them into your preconceived notion of how they are different than you are.

Ooooh...technology

2005-09-01T13:10:00.000-07:00

The chatterbox thing in the right sidebar is a sort of limited instant messenger for blog readers. You type in your comment and it shows up directly above. In this way, several people can comment at the same time and chat with one another.
-The Staff

You Got a Problem with Plato? Aristotle? Lewis? God? Huh? Well, DO ya?

2005-09-01T07:57:00.000-07:00

Please excuse us. The Professor is off pouting in the corner, feeling very misunderstood and oppressed, as you might expect. His complaint is "what's the good of having this stupid blog if people aren't going to agree with us?" You get the idea.

It's possible that his post was interpreted as more definite than it meant to be. We apologize for being inferior intellects (often frustratingly so, I fear). If I understand his belabored whinings correctly, it would appear that he does not pretend to have the key to the application of God's absolute standards of t., b., and g., but was merely trying to raise the question in our minds of whether we are fulfilling those to the best of our ability, and to impress upon our readers (we do have readers?) the seriousness of the situation: is every culture equally as valid?. We're curious. Nowhere does he in fact attack cultural diversity. We like history. We embrace history with open arms. But when it comes to worship music, we're picky. We don't like the bad kind, despite the fact that it seems to be mainstream for our culture. To further prove our point, I will proceed to laugh brutally and evilly: bwa, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

The Professor might be a Platonist in his free time, for all I know. We do live in a cave. However, although we do not discriminate on basis of race, gender or shoe size, and flee judgementality like the plague, we will be sure to request that he not let his personal decisions spill over into his work as part of our federation. He is very open minded.

George Firthingham-Walters IV

2005-08-31T17:10:00.001-07:00

Rather.

Hammer

2005-08-31T17:10:00.000-07:00

I'm bored.

Mot du jour

2005-08-31T17:02:00.000-07:00

"Some minds are like the soup in a bad restaurant: better left unstirred."
- PG Wodehouse

General Notice

2005-08-31T16:55:00.000-07:00

Names will generally not be translated in these vocabulary lists. We apologize in advance for any inconvenience.
-The Staff

Hammer Thorkildsen checks out

2005-08-31T13:25:00.000-07:00

.....whoa...headrush....sorry....

Hammer Thorkildsen checks in

2005-08-31T13:14:00.000-07:00

Hey there. I'm with you entirely. I can't stand sitting through a church service burdened by a full program of lame praise music. It makes we want to either start banging my head against the nearest wall as a sort of catharsis or to scream vile epithets at the long-haired, piercing riddled worship leaders, who will stare blankly at me as I then shake the dust from my sneakers and speed my way down the aisles and out the door. It makes me....so...ANGRY! It makes me want to run to the lobby and start tearing down the Thomas Kincaid prints and start jumping up and down on them, while shouting prophecies from the book of Jeremiah. Aaaargh! AAAAAAAAARRRRGH!

Professor Hiccups

2005-08-31T12:40:00.000-07:00

Here's a thought: does worship music need be entirely culturally contemporary and up to date?? Are we compromising our worship if we incorporate elements from past and different cultures?? Some students of anthropology like to postulate a sort of culural relativity (not diversity), that every culture is equally valid. This, of course, denies the existance of absolute standards of truth, beauty and goodness. This perspective is often used to defend the absence of hymns and psalms in Christian worship. Worship music, people say, should use current forms of communication and contemporary styles of music. They are basically advocating the relativity of worship style. Of course, they do have a point. Just not a very good one. It can be dangerous to start judging certain cultural styles of worship (that phrase bothers me. I even have a hard time typing it) as bad or good or better. However, most good, beautiful things are very dangerous and exciting. Some of us want no change between everyday life and going to church. We abandon formality, solemnity and dignity in favor of an informal, easy come, easy go, fast-food style of worship that uses music that is just like what we listen to in a day-to-day environment. We want our worship to be safe and comfortable and pleasing to the senses. "Safe? Of course he's not safe. But he's good. He's the king, I tell you."
Form is inextricably bound up with content, style with idea, medium with message. The way we conduct the worship service at church (this includes christian religious centers, sunday morning worship experiences, christian fellowship communities, vague associations of people who are cool with God and/or christian nightclubs) reflects what we are trying to do through the liturgy. Mediocrity is not acceptable, as Sultan aptly pointed out. There should be a differnece when we step into the churc h building. We should feel the difference. Music is good, stained glass is better and a fullblown cathedral complete with pointed arches and choir would definitely make my day. Maybe even my year. When we worship God in a laid back, half hearted, mediocre fashion, what are we really saying? To divorce content from form is to participate in gnostic heresy. In heaven, we will have physical bodies. There will be culture, language, music, art all of which are natural reflections by mankind of God's creative spirit amd are essential characteristics of our humanity, not in a humanistic sense, but in the sense that humans are created in the image of God and are the highest form of life. As such we have responsibilities to use our gifts to their fullest, not to dishonor God's Spirit in us.

Smith the Milkman

2005-08-30T16:49:00.000-07:00

Pooh bear's hunny
Has made him funny
In his funny hunny head
I would like him to go away
And to please by all means stay
In his 100 acre wood instead

Shadowblade says:

2005-08-30T16:44:00.000-07:00

In reference to comment on his last post): Thanks for concurring, Megiliel. It's nice to know that there are other people out there also interested in Elvish. And yes, it does in fact mean Sword-daughter or Sword-maiden. Shadowblade is actually only the english translation of my real name, which is Gwathagor. Also elvish.

Hammer speaks his bit

2005-08-30T13:10:00.000-07:00

No sword! I want mace, ya!

Shadowblade speaks

2005-08-30T12:27:00.000-07:00

There's something almost mystical about having a good sword in your grasp. A sense of the weight of duty, the balance of fate, the strength of truth and justice. Almost an extension of yourself, of soul, in a weird sort of way. Do we dare dismiss the honor and respect and importance warriors once attached to such weapons? Swords were a symbol of greatness and heirlooms of noble lineage, they were even given names, as if they had personalities. Should we disregard this as superstition? There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are written in your philosophy. Is it by chance that truth is compared to a sword in the Bible, many times? Of course, this is a symbolic reference, but as a believer in the value of old and ancient things, I think it is an important comparison. We should start viewing ourselves as warriors again, gearing up for battle. "And the gates of Hell will not prevail against it." The Church should be on the march, out to reclaim lost territory, to build a lasting, enduring Christian culture. Not everyone can be warriors. There must also be medics, healers, sages, wizards, farmers. It's just that the warrior part get's left out so often. I have a hard time imagining the gates of Hell hopping about attacking the church. The gates of Hell are incapable of serious combativity since the death and resurection. Their iron chains have been burst and their locks rendered useless, the keys of which are now held in heaven. Not that I want to start a sword-cult or anything. And no, I am not a member of the SCA. Though my problem is with the people in the SCA, not the SCA itself. But the modern mind tends to dismiss ancient as primitive. Swords are on the contrary elegant, graceful weapons when handelled properly, into which a great deal of time and craftsmanship was poured. A sword was a work of art, a thing of beauty and power until the dawn of the gun powder era. Anyone untrained soldir could wield a hand cannon, and the machine of industry and mechanics and science rolled over the rich and deep medeival society, which had become a culture where great expertise and love and care was put into the training of a warrior. The training of a young noble nurtured his soul and his character on equal terms with his skill with a blade. Each sword was unique and the wielder was trained to be a warrior of great inner strength, of chivalry, of justice, of nobility, not as a faceless killing machine. Christianity was the universal worldview. There was a single unified christian church, with a great and rich tradition and heritage. The middle ages were as close as we have come to having a christian culture of depth and universally accepted morality, where it was universally accepeted that the rulers were established by God, where beauty and care was valued, where tradition and culture and heritage, though they were centuries old were cared for and maintained, where honor and virtue and truth, beauty, and goodness were held up and praised. This is what we have lost to the dawn of the modern era. Anyway, some of us still like swords. For good reason.

Thingy makes his move

2005-08-29T21:33:00.000-07:00

I dare say frontierhistorian has a point. I mean, unnatural health makes me think of special freezers to keep you from rotting and makeup and things of that sort. We might take a look at the natural health site. Might be amusing in some way shape or form.

Sultan

2005-08-29T21:31:00.000-07:00

Yes I find this automated spam quite obnoxious.

Professor

2005-08-29T21:29:00.000-07:00

It's past me bedtime, so we'll be signing out now. Good night. Live long and blog prolifically.

Sultan

2005-08-29T21:26:00.000-07:00

Ahh not so much actually.

Prof. Dragonroy

2005-08-29T21:24:00.000-07:00

We're really pulling in the comments, huh Sultan? NO MORE ADVERTISEMENTS, PLEASE, or Hammer will become angered. And you don't want him to be angered. Heed our warnings now, before you incur our eternal enmity, people. We're not stupid.

Prof. Dragonroy

2005-08-29T21:17:00.000-07:00

Hear, hear! Thanks Sultan. You aren't interested in gaming or natural health by any chance, are you?